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Painting Words Into Lines

by Koyo

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1.
And this Is where I paint words into lines I could not find from the punishment that stays and upholds my mind I’m hanging From grace Like the world moves slow at quicksand’s pace Can the long chair fix what’s led astray All of my adult life there were things I should’ve known But troubled time in my mind has me fucked up and alone Hanging from my wayside yea I think that you should go Even if that means you take the: Last Train Home Andiwatchyougo There are pieces to this puzzle that I can’t seem to collect or scour from highest towers Or darkest crooked corners of my mind I should’ve asked you if you’d like to spend the night But it’d be wrong of me to pawn you off to places in my heart I couldn’t find All of my adult life there were things I should’ve known But troubled time in my mind has fucked up and alone Hanging from my wayside yea I think that you should go Even if that means you take the: Last Train Home Andiwatchyougo
2.
They’ll find a reason always found a reason just to get up and leave They find their reasons Eyes glued to what’s given to see Thinking “this is what I NEED” No continuity to the person you are and the person you wanted to be Radical changes in life to rest your manic head at night Grown into your own self deceit Constant rotation Of all the strangers you surround yourself with It’s imitation Worship rare examples that lead You don’t know who you want to be No continuity to the person you are and the person you wanted to be Radical changes in life to rest your manic head at night Grown into your own self deceit Grown into your self deceit It breaks me Breaks me to watch you leave
3.
Love intrudes is now what I conclude It’s funny how it takes and shakes from your appointed hands But when it’s all you see; and it’s so never ending Grieving is believing and with retrospect we face the end And it all comes crashing Violently around my hands And in the end I didn’t get To watch you change And do all things lovely Have to meet their end And reveal they were wrong From the start How many times Have I rode this straight north obsession spawns depression, hard learned lessons never seem to end; but I see that gas light’s dim glow I can’t breakdown in Bristol Miles are the trials, I’d do anything to follow you And it all comes crashing Violently around my hands And in the end I didn’t get To watch you change And do all things lovely Have to meet their end And reveal they were wrong From the start I still check up from time to time And like a dog you trained me to keep you on my mind It’s like all the stars in the short beach sky I couldn’t reach you in a lifetime And it all comes crashing Violently around my hands And in the end I didn’t get To watch you change And do all things lovely Have to meet their end And reveal they were wrong From the start (From the start) our first goodbye was flawed (From the start) the curse of time that’s lost
4.
Self love, and self harm A duality so damning yea we knew it from the start Cause’ I was born here, so I must die here Or maybe I should leave so I don’t waste away my life A state of fleeting a state of leaving Carolina beach homes so alluring and deceiving It’s suicidal because this is vital So please just let me stay and get my shit straight for awhile New loves, new jobs, new world But we can’t get ahead We’re taking life by the throat til it chokes Living at our parents’ places Same bed, same friends same car It keeps my head on straight I cant be the one that has shut the light off Enter a comfortable culture where you’re encouraged to dream As long as life’s in order by the time that you’re 18 Downplay, all the pressures that be And bury every horrible thought you conceive What I’d Give To never Feel All these expectations that seem to interfere Crushing My chest And now I can’t catch my breath to protest New loves, new jobs, new world But we can’t get ahead We’re taking life by the throat til it chokes Living at our parents’ places Same bed, same friends, same car It keeps my head on straight I cant be the one to shut the light off What about this makes you think you know that all your needed answers will soon start to show If you reset your life, you just pick up and leave That’s a fictional prospect to me, don't you see? I’m at the throat of existence with the world in my hands I’m living thousands of lives dreaming in a wasteland my door opens I see your rope end Forever frozen in time watching sands fall
5.
Translucent 04:06
In situations where I've been walking the fence I've been trying to find the dialect for weeks on end With my words in a twist and an expression that fits All transparency is lost amongst the lions of men Talkin to myself at your apartment I wish that you’d call out to me And tell me all this heartache from who I am Will pass and pass and That it'd fulfill you to know That I’ve been misleading I've been so deceiving I’ve been Sitting back watching it fade for a little while In situations where my hearts divided in 10s Hardly finding reasons just to rise from my bed Like my tongue is wrapped in cellophane Subbing words displacing pain Cause when is fate decided by the honest of man? Talkin to myself at your apartment I wish that you’d call out to me And tell me all this heartache from who I am will pass and pass and That it'd fulfill you to know That I’ve been misleading I've been so deceiving I’ve been sitting back watching it fade for a little while Oh it’d fulfill you to know The words seem to leave me When I tell you how I’m feeling If it gets me through this conversation then it’s fine Fractures in code Excuses, lies and tropes Verdict says I am now what I’d once remand Would it fulfill you to know That I have been chasing, appalled Ive been embracing If I ended up with all but everything, is it fine?

credits

released March 14, 2020

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Chris Rini at Shellshock audio in West Babylon, NY. Album art and layout by Harold Griffin. Thank you to all our friends who support us and LIHC.

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Koyo New York

Stony Brook Hardcore/emo/whatever the fuck

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